Love Letter

06.December.2011

How long has it been since our last time together? I don't even remember the day when we decided to part ways. If I am not mistaken, it was a few years back from today. However long it has been, it was indeed a part of the past.

Truth be told, even up to this day I am still having moments when I reminisce our times together. Those days are surely filled with the pink-colored aura of two people in love. Our dates, hugs, kisses, talks, and arguments...looking back, they seem to be unending stories that are full of hope for the future. Our relationship was that of a young couple in love - happy and hopeful. It was a sweet and somewhat childish love story. I never regretted those days I spent with you. Those moments eventually became part of our memories. Those were part of our story. But I can only remember those moments by myself now. Those days already belonged to the past. They will remain part of it.

Before we started our relationship as a couple, we were merely classmates…not even close friends at that. We only have a pretty close relationship in virtual messaging. That was a long distance friendship, perhaps? Since we were used to that kind of set-up, it became pretty easy for us, who were studying in different universities, to cope with our distance issue. We have always been in a long distance relationship even before we became a couple. The long distance relationship we had seemed normal for us. Of course, we missed each other a lot, but it was like our normal set-up. Physical distance is a common problem among young couples and we took it lightly. We never realized the damaged it was causing our relationship.

Despite our distance problem, we always managed to see each other every once in a while. Every time we were together, we would always become sweet with each other on certain moments. I always loved the time we were cuddling each other. I love the sensation. I feel like I am melting in your arms. Moreover, I love the warmth of your body. It was comforting and calming. That was the reason I always feel sleepy beside you. You emit the warm I am most comfortable with, and with you around, I feel secured. Honestly, I always act childishly only around you because I want to be pampered. Maybe it was due to my fetish to have an older brother. I have low immunity towards boys since I did not really grow up with my father around. You know the matter about my father, but I bet that you never really thought how it affected my behavior. I will tell you another secret: when we were still dating, you were the only guy that I trust, more than my father and my brother.

We started our relationship, from being friends to a couple, with a physical distance between us. We were used to that. It was normal for us. Eventually, as we progressed with our studies, things changed and meeting each other became difficult. Our time together was always something we treasure. With our studies being our top priority, we always put our relationship second. I am sure that you also felt how our own circumstances are hindering our relationship. You are busy. I am busy. We barely have time to have a normal conversation. Our meetings became rarer. Months passed by with our status growing vaguer.

You have your own circumstances and I have mine. We have been together for more than two years. During that time, we honed our tolerance with our long distance and lesser time relationship. But our individual circumstances are different. Despite being together for so long, we are still two unique individuals living in different environments, taking different career paths, having our own problems, thinking and feeling differently. We longed for each other just the same…but I felt insecure.

Remember the time when I told you that I am sick? It was the beginning of the week, Monday morning. After our short conversation, I never really get in touch with you again. I have been confined in a hospital for less than a week and I never told you. I know that you are busy and I do not wish to worry you. I can make an excuse without the need to tell you that I am admitted in a hospital. However, I want to be selfish and make you worry so I never told you a thing. You only learned of it, on the day before I was released from the hospital, from a common friend, your classmate and my neighbor. I don’t remember if we even talked about it afterwards. I only remember that I was busy when I returned from being sick because it was my examination week.

Then, my most terrible month came - August 2009. I totally slacked with my studies. I almost failed all of the exams I took after being ill. I needed to catch up with the lessons I have missed. My requirements also piled up. The worst thing is that my laptop was broken and I cannot use it properly. I have an incoming international tour that I wish to join but my family just spent huge amount of money for medical expenses. And my father was at home for almost half a year and I don’t know when he will be boarding his ship or if he will be sailing again. He was our only source of family income. My mind was in a mess and I do not want to care about anything anymore. It was the time when I am crying almost every night because of being emotionally depressed.

One day, I just got fed up with my situation and I tried bothering you despite knowing that you are busy. I told you stuffs like I've missed you and that I needed you to comfort me. Despite telling such things with a sad smiley icon, the only respond I received is that you are busy. I am used to that kind of respond, but at that very moment, I just let all my tears flow freely. It was a way of getting rid of my hazy mind and emotional depression. I kept on crying until I fell asleep thinking just how important is my position of being a girlfriend to you, that I should not have gotten myself so attached to you, and if I even deserve this misery.

I can never really forget the fact that you rejected a request from your girlfriend who is obviously crestfallen. I am not very sure if I even tried bothering you again after that, but I think I did. I already felt, since long ago, that I am not one of your top priorities even if you tell me how important I am. I made myself believed that I am your last priority despite my position of being your girlfriend. I am one of your priorities, yes, but I was the last one. Your family comes first and then your studies, and so on. I do not even know how far I am on the list. My insecurity grew stronger, and our relationship became colder. I do not even know if I still have a boyfriend for I do not feel like I have one. Our existence to each other’s life became like that of a spirit. I do not know anything happening to you and I became more selfish.

Eventually, the day came when we needed to talk about our relationship status since you heard from my best friend that I feel like I do not have a boyfriend anymore. Would you not even realize my absence from your life without hearing it from another person? That time, I just say whatever came to mind not giving it a thought. I told you how tired I am from being too considerate of people who don’t even think of being considerate of me. I propose a break up as a solution for our problem. Then you started talking about the future. In my case, I can’t even think of the future if we are like this. I don’t remember what I told you. But in the end, you agreed to my proposal. After a few hours, I tried contacting you again, but I think you are asleep and so you never replied. I think lightly of our break-up and thought that, eventually, we would reconcile again. However, that never happened and we never even had a normal conversation afterwards. We lost contact with each other. Even though I wanted to know what happened to you and to tell you my reason for my break-up proposal, I was never given the chance to do so.

We are over. Our love story has ended. It was not one of those stories with a happy-ever-after ending. You have your flaws. I have my own. We were both at fault. I am sure that there are bygone emotions that were never conveyed and silent words that were never heard. But life goes on. We simply returned to being two individuals not related with each other...just like how we were during the first fifteen years of our life.

Regards,

Lisa

P.S.

I know this is too late now, but I still want to tell you this: I loved you. You will remain as a special person in my life. Though the love I used to have for you will eventually fade after meeting someone more special, I know that there will still be a special emotion for you. I know this is selfish of me, but I really wish to keep a close friendship with you. I will undeniably compare how you have been to my future partner, and I will definitely look for your character in that person. However, by that time, I am sure that I am not the same childish person you knew before.

I hate goodbyes. And please take care of yourself. Our memories belong only to us. If you wish to forget them, you may do so. There are still chances of meeting you, so see you someday.

One month later...

I have spent one month and three days in Singapore. Honestly, it was an uneventful month. Nothing much happened, really.

Last week, from Monday, 16 September, to Friday, 21 September, I was going to the hotel for training. The first two days were meant for Orientation, then I had my day-off, and the last two days were for training. Almost everyone I worked with in the hotel told me that they value training in that company. I know how important training is for the well being of the employees and of the hotel itself. However, I think they value it too much that there were several training courses one can attend to. Well, I'm not aware of the number of trainings available as of now, but so far, I have attended 3 trainings: safety and security, branding and guest experience. At first, I find this training boring but for the last one I had so far, I think I was begining to have fun. The Training manager, who is also the trainer, is very funny. He can be a good actor. His mood can change easily, and he can project several emotions in one day. It was fun watching him. And the technique to finish the training early so that we can go home early is to participate actively. Feeling fo nga ang epal ko na eh.,/p>

For my first week in the hotel, I was passed from one division to the other to have a general idea of how our whole department works. Honestly, I only learned a little from that kind of training technique. I spent my second week in the division I am actually assigned in. I find myself very timid there, just smiling and not talikng very much. How the hell can I enjoy myself there when I am stuck with two Malaysian girls of Chinese race talking in some Chinese dialect and leaving me out of the conversation. I actually feel like butting in and letting them know of my existence. In my previous work place in Singapore, my colleagues would just say, "Channel 5" (a local channel in Singapore) or "Subtitle" or they will just anyhow tell us to speak in English when we're talking in Tagalog. But I can't say it since I'm new and they might find my attitude to be too rude. You know how I act demanding to my close friends, right? or how I annoy anyone when I feel like it? I'm still trying to grasp they're personality so I'm watching my behavior. Oh well, they're nice people anyway.

The best thing I learned so far is that I need to develop my acting skills since I will have to fake my attitude towards the guests. I mean, I need to be 'plastic' sometimes especially when there is a rude guest. I must also develop my introvert character. But i don't think of myself as much introvert. There's actually a time when a college friend told me "Alam mo, hindi ko maintindihan kung introvert ka or hindi..." or something like that. I think I can be both and then I realized that's what being moody maybe.

For the third week until now, I am attached to the Operator once again. I was attached there once during the first week. The Operator manager told me why I was put to that division. I actually don't know the reason and people are asking me why I am in the operator. Well, she said that my character is very shy and reserved and I was placed to the operator to develop my character into a friendly and cheerful one. I also thought that might be the reason since that was the case for my previous employer where I trained for a month. The reason that the HR officer gave me is that I did not pass the training. I was working there for over a month and they would tell me that I did not pass my training. If I know, she was just pissed off to the way I asnwered her over the phone. So I figured out that she doesn't like my character, but I was trying my best that time to piss off the HR manager, since i don't like her, and I want an easy way out there. It's actually a good thing that they removed me from my position since I have to go to Singapore in a week.

The other day my Premier Lounge Manager told me that I'm doing good in the Operator. The other day too, my Assistant Manager in the Operator told me that I have become more cheerful and she asked me today if I think I'm ready for Premier Lounge. I was also thinking of when I will be back there. I think I can handle mingling to guests and my colleagues there. However, I still need to be trained in the check-in and check-out things, Although I think I can handle check-in slowly. The question is, when will I be back to Premier Lounge? I think they should let me know ahead of time so that I can prepare myself and adjust myself.

I'm having more fun in the Operator since it's back of the house and it's at the far end of the Front Office Department. I mean the office is really at the other side of the hotel. It takes lot of effort to get there. And the people there are fun and we get to do anything when its not busy. In the Premier Lounge, there is the delicate atmosphere, a professional feeling.. Premier Lounge was meant for guests with Premier Club benefits which means they pay higher. The place is good and relaxing but for me, it's way too relaxing that I get too slepy when I'm there. There was actually a time when I almost fell a sleep since I got nothing to do. The people there are nice and my Manager is even kinder than everyone. It was actually a place where I can chill, but for some reason I always display a serious expression when I'm in there. Perhaps it has something to do with the atmosphere. I need to look proper in there and I need to smile always and greet the guests....ah, whatever.

I'm still under probation and I'm pretty scared of that status.

I went to church today...the one nearest to our place. I thought it would just be a few meters of walking but it turned out to be a kilometer or so. It was actually close to our place but the way to get there takes some good distance. I can't believe that Filipinos are not the only Catholic people in the world. I mean, there are indian, chinese and malay races there. There were FIlipinos there, of course, but for other nationalities to be there as well?! It feels weird.

I also went to SG Botanic Gardens today. I just want to photograph my beloved Bandstand but even the place feels different. I mean, it doesn't feel like the same place when I saw it this afternoon. Anyway, I enjoyed my walk in there since I get to mess with people taking shots for wedding. I actually get to take good shots of the couple and the Photographer actually approach me to stop me. WTH?! I came there first and he requested me to move aside. For their information it was a public park. I'm wrong to take photos of people without their consent though. Then I get to see some geeks...well, at least I think that they are geeks. They are taking the effort to take photos of a Ball-jointed doll. The doll was pretty for real. She looks so delicate. I took one shot of the doll.(23.10.2011)

Hardships to Live

16.October.2011

Yesterday, I was walking along Orchard Road, on the side of Mandarin Gallery, Wisma Atria, Takashimaya, etc. Walks along this road were always interesting. There were always something to entertain the passerbys. However, I noticed that most of the workers doing the 'odd jobs', like selling street ice cream, playing music, and selling handy napkins/tissues, are always the old people, sometimes even handicapped ones. I say these are 'Odd Jobs', why? They look pretty much natural work but the people doing these are the handicapped and old ones.

The highlight of my walk yesterday was one old man's performance. Well, it was an amazing performance. It's just that he has two necklaces of huge wooden beads (like a Buddhist's?) hung around his neck which he swings round and round. That looks painful and awful more than exciting. If you could just see how old the man looks, you'd definitely share the same sympathy as me.

There was another old man, but he does not look as old as the first one. He's quite energetic for his age, actually. His performance was joggling three long bottles which I think are plastic ones or made of the same material as my flair bottle. It was like flairtending without the drinks. He even uses his one foot to catch and flip one of the bottles. What's more? His position was against the sun. It actually looks like he was being shone by the spotlight of the stage. I notice him smile every now and then despite the heat. Of course, he has to, when there are people dropping tips to his box. That's a pretty way to earn a living.

I read in a local newspaper about how the government is raising funds to support the old citizens. There are also organizations who manages work that is fitted for the qualifications of old people; they even provide training for them. So, there should be no wonder why there are a lot of old people working here and there.

I also read in the newspaper a statement made by a retiring old man. "I cannot retire. I will die." It was a simple and realistic statement that gave me, in an instant, the thought of Singaporeans never really relied on others, not even the old ones.

Ne, it must be boring

04.October.2011

The time now is actually a quarter before four in the morning. Today was my day off from work. Although I am not really working yet. I go to work but I am still under training. I do petty works in the Premiere Lounge such as printing files, preparing files, recording inventory, and stuff. The thing is that I need to learn to do the check-in and I wanted to try doing the check-in but I did not get the chance to. I am in the Premiere Lounge for three days now. On my first day, I am being taught about easier tasks and observing how my seniors do the check ins. On my second day, I do stuff that I remember by myself and they allowed me to work by myself on updating profiles. On my third day, which was yesterday, I was hoping to do a check-in and there is actually a chance since there are not much to do and there were only two arrivals left. However, I was not able to do so since the guest I was expecting to come did not arrive. Oh well, I should be able to do a check-in some other time. I should remember and practice on my delivery of the benefits of the Premiere room guests. I was supposed to have a test yesterday but I wasn't able to, as per my manager, since I told her that I still need to practice my delivery although I remember the benefits. There was also a software for Opera Training which I am free to use since it wouldn't affect the system. The thing is that I don't know what I should do with it. I played with reservation a little but it was boring since i basically don't have to input anything in the system for walk-in reservation. I only have to input important basic information and then print the registration card. From then on, it will take sometime to fill up the needed details in the registration card and to check-in the guest. I kind of know what to do, I just need an actual experience in doing that.

The other day, I was struck by the word "Role play". The meaning and essence of that thing just suddenly came to me. I actually hate role playing and acting. But I think that it is helpful in some way. You will have the slight idea of a scenario and from that fake experience you will be able to come up with other things.

Training again

30.September.2011

I already started my training in my current employer. My life has really turned a 360degrees shift from my life in food and beverage department. I am now in the Front Office Department. It was more professional looking, yes, but I haven't discovered the fun of being here. It is my mission for the moment.

Oh, yes! I am working in a four-star hotel along Orchard area. It was really good inside. Actually, it was like a mall in the Philippines having its middle part open to the ceiling. The ceiling is even made of transparent materials that it's giving natural light to the interior of the building. So you really don't get the exquisite hotel feeling because it is well-lighted. Usually hotels are dim-lighted with the yellowish light, right? But ours was well lighted. It was a nice ambiance actually.

The people are nice to me so far. They have different personalities and I still have to get to know them, little by little. My contract was for two years anyway. I will do my best to prevent getting terminated. I should play by the rules for now. It's always better to be on the safe side.

As of today, I'm quite depressed. I feel like I need to meet with people and talk to them. I want to move out of my temporary place as soon as possible. Basically, the reason is because it is not a comfortable place for me, although I am already getting used to it. It is convenient, yes, but It's not comfortable. I got another reason for my sudden depression. It was my dream last Saturday night. I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend and he want to see me or something like that. Maybe, it's because of my feelings for him still hidden somewhere in my heart. Anyway, it was a sudden dream, I haven't thought of him at all lately until I had that dream. I actually had another dream, and in that dream we are together, but not as girlfriend and boyfriend, just normal friends who met with others. I was shocked when we were so lovey-dovey with each other. We even kissed in front of others! Moreover, it was not a simple kiss, he kissed my from my lips to my neck. It was a really shocking dream.

I was thinking that it was the other way around. Others say that dreams are the opposite of the actual thing. He may not be thinking of me. Or he might even despise me. Oh well, just whatever. I added him again in a social networking site. Just whatever, it bothers me a bit though. I just need to find a boyfriend so I can forget him completely. Even though I say this, I rejected an offer from a colleague in my old employer.

The Return to Paradise

25.September.2011

It has been 5 days since I returned to my little paradise - Singapore. How was my return? It was terrible. I mean, to return and to go back are two different things. Returning merely means having your same exixtence at the same place. However, going back means being at the exact moment. Basically you can't go back to how your life have been before, but you can simply return to the way you lived it. That's a simple difference but a logical one. I can't go back to my life in Singapore before since the circumstances are entirely different. I can feel it and I know it. I can't fool myself to believe that I can regain the same life as before. Well, I was working at the same area, I see tha same facade of the buildings, but it's different. I know it. Things are simply different.

Anyway, I hate how I was welcomed in Singapore. I mean, I will be staying at an eerie-looking house with a gloomy and dirty ambiance. I was depressed at that very moment. On top of that, there was no wifi or internet connectivity. I feel like going back to the Philippines. I just can't imagine how my life would be without wifi. It was a dead serious and fatal case to people of my generation. Well, I can go to Mcdonald's for a cup of sundae and stay there until my notebook ran out of battery. It was a hassle but I must bear wth it for the time being. That was the cheapest way for free internet access. I'm so sad.

So far, I'm happy for getting a nice photo of Marina Bay. But the greatest was to be able to eat Choco Mochi, Custard-Chocolate An pan and mini choco donut. My beloved treats and breakfast...I was able to eat it. The thing is that I'm almost out of money. My SGD300 were just change now. It was just five days. Well, I bought useful stuff for settling in Singapore. I just have to be wise on my little money.

Marina Bay at night. It was my first time to get this output for a night photography session.

My all-time favorite Chocolate Mochi

Another favorite Mini Chocolate Donut

A Little Over Twenty

18.September.2011

It was already four months and seventeen days after I turned twenty, left my teenage years, and entered into the early stage of adulthood. To be honest, I had difficulties finding a good work...with a good pay, with a good pay. Eventually, maybe due to my desperation to gain experience, I accepted the job on the first interview that I passed. I got bored over my work and find another employer. I worked as a casual employee and as a full-time but not regular employee. I worked and earned money. I spent this money to have fun, to satisfy my cravings and to acquire things I want. I stressed myself over facts like how little is the salary one can earn here, how I don't get to work as a full-time employee and enjoy it's benefits, how I feel oppressed while rendering service to my employer, how I got troubled over working for two employers without anyone finding out, how I should resign from my employer, and such. The four months seem both short and long...nevertheless, it was an eventful time in my life.

After a day or so, I'll be leaving my country and going to another country with a good paying job. As of today, I am only a five-months-and-seventeen-days graduate from my university. It has not been half a year since I officially graduated, but I felt like it has been forever that I'm a bum. I was pressured by myself and my desire to earn money and to do something. Maybe, I feel uneasy from doing nothing and being a bum. It was all thanks to my program curriculum that I became like that. Well, the curriculum for my last year in college was very demanding that I need go to school or meet my classmates seven days a week. During those times, I am shouting and yearning for a break, however, when I was given a long break, it became the opposite. Humans really are rational; I am a human; therefore, I am rational. (That's a display of a simple logic. Cool, eh?)

Right now, my issue revolves around the things that I have to bring. I want to bring my entire wardrobe, or more like an entire room. BUT, I simply can't do that, so I am thinking very carefully of the clothes that will be easy to wear and to wash, and other stuff that I will be needing in my stay abroad. It'll be only for two years, but I hope that my contract will be extended. It's difficult to find a good paying job nowadays. This week has been very busy for me. I went back to our house in Cavite, since I am staying in the dorm in Manila due to work. I went to the agency for payment of fees. I went back to Manila to meet friends for dinner. My friends have a sleep-over at our house. I had another friend to check my laptop. I do these all at different days. Aren't I pretty hassled? But it's good to see friends and bond with them again after a long time. It actually feels nice. Though I don't get to meet a lot of them, just a certain few people. I wonder how it would feel meeting them after two years? That should feel nice.

Returning to the place full of memories? It's quite painful to return there alone. I might find myself laughing and smiling alone...looking weird and crazy. I'm worried as to how I will live my life there without the people who I used to be with. OH, well, I will find that out soon.

Ending the Last Day

15.September.2011 It has been four days since my last day in my precious workplace. So how was my last day? It was quite confusing. Some of my colleagues learned of it on the very day itself. Some kept on asking me if it was true that it will be my last day on that day. But the most common question is, Why? Basically I don't know how to answer this question. I don't even know the answer myself. I just tell them that according to a certain someone, I didn't pass my evaluation or my training. Of course, I would name drop the name of that certain someone. They knew that certain someone anyway. To be honest, I don't really know the real reason behind my failure. Butt based on my senses and logic, that certain someone does not think of me as a good employee in that hotel, and maybe, a few more people share the similar opinion towards me. Their group certainly does not include the whole employee population of the hotel.

Does it bother me that much? Well, kind of. First of all, I don't know how to respond to their sympathy to me who has been removed from my position. I just smile towards them and go along with how they want the conversation to flow. Secondly,I'm not used to being shown sympathy. I used to be alone and to try comforting others. But, I'm not used to being comforted although I'm longing for that feeling. I could have forgotten that I am still part of other people's lives. I just don't want to expect from others, since it hurts so much when it didn't go the way I think it would go. I kind of pity myself for the fact that I don't know how to use other's sympathy.

The fact that I'm removed from my position is an evident that I'm not yet fit for the work of the Front desk agent. What I'm most worried about is that I'll be working on the same position in my next employer, which is in Singapore. I don't know if I would be able to finish my contract. I'm really worried about that. But oh well, life goes on and I'm not there yet. Come 20th September. I'm still preparing for you though..

End of a Troublesome Dream

10.September.2011

I'm all prepared to share the tale of my work training. It's a funny, sad short story of a dull life in a small vector I lived. It definitely is short though is comprises of more than a month worth of days.

It all began on a Thursday morning when I was going to attend an interview for a small three star hotel in the heart of Manila. I came early but not so early, just early enough for the ten o'clock schedule. I came in the hotel almost at the same time as the one who called me for an interview. What a twist of fate that has been. Even though she knew that I already arrived, I was still made to wait for like thirty minutes. I find the hotel quite weird since I am used to grandiose hotels like Marriott, Ibis Satthorn, and Royal Princess. Now that I think about it, Ibis Bangkok is also a three star hotel but it's more fabulous than my current three star hotel. Maybe it's because of the brand standard since Ibis is a chain property. Oh well, to each his own. (I've been wanting to use this saying for a long time now.)

The interview eventually started and finished by around eleven-thirty in the morning. It was quite weird since I was asked about mixology when I am applying for Guest Services Specialist a.k.a. Front Desk. I was interviewed by three people. First is the HR, second is Marketing who handles the corporate accounts of the Front Office, and last is Accounting who also handles the over-all operation of the hotel. It really is a small hotel handled by a number of people. It still operates. It has guests, and a number of regular guests at that, coming from the Metro, to provinces to foreign countries. The fact that it produces income is the proof of its existence. Recently, I read a memorandum thru email about the sales for the month of August. It actually reached seven figures and I don't know if that is small or big amount; I never worked in the accounting department, anyway.

In the end, I passed the interview and I was quite in the shocked-state-of-mind. I am still thinking since I find the hotel odd, but I accepted it anyway. I started exactly on first of August. My schedule was six o'clock in the morning to three o'clock in the afternoon. I thought I got it wrong so I double check it. However, it is clearly stated that my schedule is six to three in the afternoon. I was like, what is wrong with this? I have to work for nine hours a day? Maybe, I have a one hour break? I wouldn't know unless I start to work. It was already a nightmare that I have to wake up around 5 o'clock in the morning. And the fact that I need to work nine hours a day is like a torture for me, mentally that is. And so, my one month and ten days have passed, slowly,plainly with a bit of excitement from time to time. My last day is almost coming to an end. That is actually tomorrow. (I am writing this during my shift from twelve noon to nine o'clock in the evening, after the people doing office work left.) How will my last day go? I wouldn't know unless I come to work tomorrow.

Just this week, since I was on a graveyard shift, which is from nine o'clock in the evening to six o'clock in the morning, from the day my training contract ended, I was informed that my evaluation result already came out. It was both positive and negative. I think I have positive remarks for the work itself, and I got negative remarks for the attitude and personality. I was thought of as a kid, though I admit that I am, quite. Then, just yesterday, I was informed that I did not pass as a Guest Services Specialist. If I know, the HR was just pissed at me since 'I am not answering the phone with gentleness'. Does she want me to sweet-talk on the phone when it should be formal? Err...I actually don't know whether to be depressed or happy about it. I wanted to resign from this work as soon as possible since I am putting more importance for my Singapore thing. However, I was being held back since one of my colleagues at least wanted to take a leave. She already booked her flight to somewhere. I am happy to be deprived of the task of resignation. I am depressed, partially, since I am worried if I really can perform the duties for the position of the Guest Services Specialist. I will have the same work when I go to Singapore. But I think that I was removed from my position due to the hotel's peculiarities. Not that I really mind it.

Our Marketing Officer was informed of it. She tried to comfort me by saying that she gave me good remarks for the evaluation and that it's a blessing in disguise since I will be better off at other hotels than there. I should just accept their sympathy. They don't know that I already have another employer on a foreign country. It's better to keep quiet about it. Maybe, my colleagues will inform them about it.

My experience here was quite a blast. It was my first time being in the Front Desk; deciding for others' actions; performing cashiering duties; being on a graveyard shift; reading online comics while on duty; receiving enveloped cash for salary; having a group check-in; dealing with rude guests; receiving stuff from guests; and even being recruited for a passenger ship. It was my first time for various things. It was also my first time to be removed from my position. It was fun, mentally stressful, plain and easy. People here are nice and easy to get along with. I have my own opinions to lots of them. I'm keeping that to myself though. :)

Social Life: 0%

30.August.2011

Oh dear, oh dear! It's been a month since I last posted an entry. Why is that so? Well, I have been busy with my one month training in the new work place that I found. It's a small and nice work place but I can't get rid of thinking that I am being oppressed there. Oh well, it should end soon and it's time for me to decide whether I continue it or not. All depends on my Singapore application result.

I'm not giving anymore update about my current workplace, I'll save it for my next entry. It should be quite interesting, hmmm. But I'll state what I've been doing during my days off from work. It was my most awaited day of the week, of course.

There's a time that I went to Rizal Park, Paco Park, and Harbour Square. Can I say "It's just so me to go to weird places"? Lol. Well, I practiced photography under different circumstances. Here goes...

Night Walk @ Rizal Park

How are the photos? I did my best to take those. I went to Rizal Park for a night photography since I heard from my sister that there's a musical fountain show somewhere there. It excites me enough to head out again just after returning.

What can I say? I just loved the colorful rainbow pillars that were dancing, though not in tune with the music. What makes me even more excited is to capture frozen shots of those dancing waters while it brushes the air with colors. For a beginner like me, it's difficult but while I stay there longer, I enjoyed the tune. I just didn't care if I blocked the view of the people watching. I tried various settings such as night scene, low light, fireworks, automatic, and, of course, manual. I love seeing the colors in the screen of my camera so I really am not much disappointed if I don't capture an image of how I thought it would look like. I appears different in my notebook anyway.

So everything is fine and I enjoyed a little discovery. I never knew that there's a Japanese Garden and an Orchid Garden ( if I'm not mistaken) in the Rizal Park. Well, come to think of it, before going there this August, the last time I went there is when I was a kid and we watch a Kite Flying Contest. Seriously, that was like a very loooong time ago. So much took place in a span of ten years eh? It somehow made me realize that I am already an adult, quite sad to be honest.

Monochrome @ Paco Park

I love these photos a lot, particularly the candles and the doves beside a pond of water. I still don't get the basic of black and white photography but I think that black and white photos are interesting. It's plain and dull-looking, yeah, but it conveys more emotions than a normal colored snap shot. One photo can either be totally scary, curios, happy, or sad. It is dramatic, and being monochromatic in color, it draws one's attention. Actually, that was my point of view since I am a fan of black and white photography. A biased way of thinking, that is.

I've searched the net about places in Manila that are good for photography shoots. Paco Park just came in the list that I found. I never actually knew that there existed such a place in Manila, and within the city area at that. It was quite a creepy place since it's basically a round cemetery with the plaza and church at the center. Thank goodness that when I came there there were several student preparing for August's festivities - Buwan ng Wika. If I was alone at that time, I'd be totally conscious of my surroundings. I even tried black and white solo of mine using the 10-second timer. I never really used it, so now I know that it comes in handy. If a few certain friends come in with me, it might be good to have them wear colorful clothes. It'll stand out with all those gray-colored background everywhere.

Sunset @ Harbour Square

I love orange sunsets...the big red sun, the pink and orange clouds, and it's reflection in the sea. It's always a breathtaking scenery, and I loved it since long ago. The photos aren't the usual orange sunset on the beach. These were taken somewhere in CCP Complex, I am not sure if the place is still called that way. There's no big red sun, and orange and pink clouds. Just a bunch or small ships and a setting sun in the background. Well, even so, you just can't take their eyes away from a sunset. It's like it has a magic to draw one's eyes to it until the very end.

Basically, I went to Harbour Square so that I could take a photo of Manila with it's light reflecting on Manila Bay. It's a failure though. I still don't know the proper settings, or rather I don't have the proper equipments. My beloved G11is a prosumer one and not a SLR. Well, once I know of the proper setting for a night reflection photography, I'll get back to the same place. Just wait and see. :)

Interview Week and Exploration

30.July.2011

I had a rolling week this time! I mean, I have something to do everyday to the point of becoming tired of doing so. I went to Taguig, Makati, Cubao, and Libis. It's making me tired but I get to see different places. So it's quite fun.


On Monday, I went to Taguig because I have an interview with Trueventus at 16:30hrs. I was able to find out how to get there easily since I searched it in the net. But I'm still surprise to know that there is a bus station and I even have to buy tickets from a booth. It's so Singapore-like, even the bus. It's so cool! Then the bus took a route that I've never seen before. I think it passes by Dasmarinas Village and I'm amazed to see the houses. I mean, the houses in New Manila is shocking already, but The houses in Dasmarinas Village is way more shocking. Just imagine a village where houses are like mansions?! Such filthy rich people!

Oh well, we finally arrived at Bonifacio Global City and it's so like Singapore! Well, it's still under development but the ambiance it gives off is really like Singapore. I drop off at Net Cube Station since I feel like it and it sounded like the station the lady in the ticket booth told me. I really have this feeling of being in Singapore and I feel like floating since It's my first time going there. However, I feel like something is off when I see a parking lot. I realized that it's quite difficult to get a car in Singapore so there's not much private cars driving around the country. I saw a parking lot in The Fort just in front of Net Cube and it's full of cars. That's probably why I feel something's off from looking at the parking lot.

Fort Legend Towers is just beside the Net Cube so I did not get lost in going there. It's way too early for my interview so I decided to cross the road and stay somewhere I can eat. I stayed in Starbucks and kill time. Even though it's still a bit early I decided to head to the office where I am invited for the interview. I, once again, felt lost. The office was still under renovation meaning it's a new office in the Philippines. Well, the company is based in Manila anyway. I think I screwed up for the interview since I can barely understand what Mr. John Karras, my interviewer, is saying. It's probably his accent and the way he talks too fast. I was told to expect a call on Friday morning for the results whether I pass or not. However, I got a call from another person named Ruben on Thursday, saying that I pass the interview and I will receive an email and I need to sign it and send it back to them. I was so surprised. Well, I'm feeling lost and undecided since I also passed another interview on Thursday morning.

For Tuesday, I went to Max's Office in the Morning in Chino Roces Avenue and to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the afternoon in Libis. It was raining really hard when I was on my way to the Max's office so I need to buy an umbrella. I took and exam and left. As usual, I was told that I will be contacted if I pass the exam. I'm not expecting it though. I can't set my expectations too high for I will eventually be disappointed. I ate at Chef D'Angelo for lunch. I tried their buffet. It was cheap so I thought I'd give it a try. I love the cheese pizza but the pasta in not to my liking. I think I forced myself to eat too much. I actually think that I'm not going to eat pasta for quite a while.

I, then, went to Cubao to find a jeepney going to Brgy. Bagumbayan. It took me a long time just to catch one. It's so rare to see a jeepney going to that route. I managed to get there somehow. I once again got lost after alighting the MRT at Cubao-Araneta station. I entered Farmer's Plaza and can't find my way out. It's always been like that for me every time I go there. However, getting lost this time is quite surprising since I get to see a shop that sells crochet yarn and sewing stuff. I managed to get my hands on grey colored yarns at last! Oh, going back to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I safely arrived in the area and it's not like a high-rise office building. It's like a factory building divided into units. The office is nice inside so it doesn't really matter. It was only for initial interview so it was quick. I also read news articles while waiting. I'm not so aware of the current events right now. So I read how the melting glaciers affects the crops and about how small time fishermen are being taken advantage of by the huge fishing companies, and about law implementation. Err, that was my first news article for a really long time!

On Wednesday, I'm supposed to have interview with Topserve Manpower Services and I plan to visit Cityland Office for interview. But I decided to just sleep all the way through the day and I'll be having date with Fred and Faith in the evening. We're eating dinner together.

We plan to meet at Ayala but then decided to meet at SM Megamall instead. I went to Ayala early so I need to take two trips. Err, it's a waste of money effort and time. I forced them to eat at Papa John's Pizza even though they totally refused my request. We visited Teriyaki Boy's and then they decided to just go to Papa John's. I think they find the price too expensive and eating at Papa John's is about the same. We ended up dining at Papa John's. It was my first time eating at Papa John's in SM Megamall branch. I still like the one in Robinson Galleria more. The Super Papa pizza is not the same as Robinson's branch. I mean I can taste the green bell pepper of the pizza. It's not the same taste I remember when I had it in Robinson's. We ordered Super Papa's Pizza (medium), Spaghetti Bolognaise, Penne Marinara, and Potato Wedges. It costs us a little over a thousand. I paid for half of it and they shared the rest. That was my condition that made them agree to dine there in the first place. We ate and talked, mostly about the new life we're having. Well, I'm still considered as a bum though, err.

Faith calls our dinner as 'Our First Adult Dinner Together'. Well, it's not bad to call it that way even though it was not my first time eating in that kind of place. I mean, I used to eat to places with Clarisse, and Tender Bob's even more expensive than that.

Then, Thursday came and I attended my interview for Corporate Inn Hotel Manila in Kalaw and Mrs. Fields office in Chino Roces Avenue. Today was more like an adventure to me.

The Corporate Inn Hotel is a small hotel in Kalaw and I don't really know if they were earning enough to pay for their expenses. I mean I go to Three to five star hotels for school stuff and I'm more aware of what is going on with those hotels. However, being in a small time hotel feels different. It's quite nice in the inside. Well, I only managed to get to the lobby. The interview was conducted on the dining area which is actually part of the lobby too. It really is a budget hotel. They even asked me about beverage mixing when I'm actually applying for Guest Services Specialist a.k.a. Front Desk Receptionist. Of all the people who talked to me or interviewed me rather is the marketing person. She's pretty, frank and talks nicely. She even told me that it's okay if I am only getting experience and she told me a number of people who came from their hotel who are now successfully earning money at other hotels. She's being practical. I like her for real.

I actually have an interview and exam scheduled for John Clements but I just decided not to go there. I ate lunch at McDonald's along Chino Roces and Gil Puyat and walked all the way until I find the Mrs. Fields' Office. I was made to wait for very long and they basically asked me questions to clarify what was written on my application form. I doubt that they will call me for another interview. On my way back to the dorm, I was called by Trueventus telling me that I passed and stuff. I now became totally undecided. Well, I got interview for Singapore the next day which will help me decide.

So, I attended the interview as a Guest Services Officer for Fairmont Hotel Singapore. The interviewers were from the hotel. I was interviewed by a German(?) and a Singaporean. Practically, I already failed the interview even before I got into the interview room. I was actually told by the German(?) lady that if I was passionate for the food and beverage department she will tell her friend who is the director of F&B department of their hotel. Since they were actually looking for staff for F&B. I was told that I did not passed by the agency staff and so I go home. I kind of regretted that I tried applying for the FO despite the fact that I don't really qualify for it. I should have asked if I could attend the interview for F&B as well. Anyway, I will try another time.

I called the Corporate Inn Hotel and tell them that the problem with the agency is okay and they told me to come in Monday at 6AM wearing formal attire with a blazer. My clothes were already in the laundry so I should be able to get it on Sunday night.

Why I decided to take the offer from Corporate Inn Hotel when The Trueventus seems promising? Well, I don't want to let go of my Marriott Part-time job as of now. So, it will be better if I can find time for Marriott job while I work at Corporate Inn Hotel. It was closer to the place I stay so I will be able to get some rest. I already plan how I will make things to work out. So I hope everything goes well. As for my Singapore employment, I think I will go back there after some months. I'd like to get experience as much I a can from Philippines for now. And having local employment record seems a good thing too. I really hope everything goes well.

After the interview, I went back to the dorm to change and I took a bus to Makati. Why Makati? I want to ride a bus there going to Alabang for convenience's sake. It was actually fun. The travel was quite long but I managed to get to Makati somehow. I found out about photography classes in The Library and it was my first time going there. I actually inquired about it. It'll be on August 1 and so on, Mondays and Wednesdays of the first two weeks and a Photoshoot on August 6. I wish I have known about it sooner. It'll cost me about Php5000, but so what? I've been wanting to go to a photography workshop since long ago. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to try it. Makati is pretty nice if I look around it. I only always remember the busy part of Makati. I didn't think there would a a quite peaceful park there, I mean the Ayala Triangle Garden. I should try going there sometimes.

Opportunities

24.July.2011

Alright! Here's my weekly update. I went to Manila last Tuesday, 19 July 2011, and I'm back to Cavite just this Saturday morning, 23 July 2011. Going back and forth from the province to the city is a real pain. I hate it. But I love going to places and the travel, though. I just wish there'd be a teleportation device existing now so I can go anywhere in a blink of an eye especially if it's not for a road-trip.

Anyway, I forcefully went back to Manila last Tuesday even though my work schedule is still late afternoon on Wednesday. I just decided to go to my agency's office and submit my work requirements even though I do not have everything with me. I still lack Mayor's permit and PhilHealth. Fortunately, I do not have to submit Mayor's Permit to them. Lucky, eh? I applied the PhilHealth through them as well. I actually got a little problem 'cause they are the ones who are supposed to apply the BDO cash card instead of applying it on my own. Well, they still accepted my card anyway, because I defended my self by reasoning. I just don't want to feel oppressed.

I'm a little lucky to find the office by some clues provided by my coordinator. Ah! I went to SM North EDSA by bus alone and the fare was more expensive than by taking jeepney and train. The travel time is faster too! I wouldn't do that again, taking the bus going to far away place when there's an alternative. By the way, before going to the office I became hungry and so I decided to eat crepe.

Mango Mania with Vanilla Ice Cream at Crepes and Cream

For Wednesday, 20 July 2011, I worked from 5 PM until 1 AM. The function was for AstraZeneca, a pharmaceutical company I guess. There was actually a handsome guest who drinks lots of water. So I need to refill his glass over and over again. The function finished around 9PM and we finished clearing the function room quickly. The problem is, we still have two more hours before we finished our work time. We ended up wiping necessary cutleries for tomorrows function. We also do this quickly that we are always running out of things to wipe. There was another group who were wiping cutleries but they do it slowly while laughing out loud. At least they are lively and that they keep everyone from being sleepy. I grew bored from doing all the wiping. I actually wanted myself to sign out early because of that, just that I don't want to have an under-time work.

I did something nostalgic last Wedsnesday too. I bought a Hot Fudge Sundae on my way to work. I used to do this on my way to the college building. I just missed it. :)

I also have another work schedule last Friday, 22 July 2011. The function was an Indian Couple Engagement Party. It really was a party. It made me missed the Clarke Quay. We were told before hand that we will be having extended work hours because Indian functions usually finished past their scheduled time. I actually am already going to finish work until 2 AM which is 2 hours overtime. However, we were signed out by 4AM. Therefore, I have four hours overtime recorded to my time sheet. I still need to know how the pay works for regular hour, overtime and night differential. I learn that soon enough and I wouldn't be getting my pay anytime soon anyway. By the way, I drank Vodka Tonic from the mobile bar in the function room and I ate Bread and Butter Pudding, if that's how they call it here. I actually get a little tipsy from the Vodka Tonic sine I drink it while being hungry.

Since I and my colleagues worked until dawn, we stayed in the hotel and just waited for sun to shine. Then, we decided to stay at Bonjour, and only I bought pasta and iced coffee. I was hungry to begin with. We waited for the guys to come so that we can eat breakfast somewhere in the barangay near there. It was like an adventure in the market place. We really looked for a Goto House and all the girls ate a bowl of goto. It was funny how they don't want to pay for their food. Bryan, a gay colleague, paid for almost everything and I gave him Php15 since he's short on money. Then, they are not satisfied yet so we went to 7 Eleven in the area. They bought drinks and siopao, and then decided to eat noodles in the store across the street.I can't feel myself being full yet but I have no appetite to eat since I have not slept for almost a day. I ate anyway. They ordered palabok and canton which Kuya Manny paid for from his personal tip. We haven't gotten any tip yet. We also doubt if we will get any since the guests don't want to pay for their excess fees. Oh well, not that it matters to me, though the tip excites me. Anyway, they all decide to go and finally go home. I acutally return to Cavite despite having no sleep. I was able to get a little sleep from waiting in the jeepney station. I'm covered with sweat though.

I am getting interview requests and it was a good thing. How come? After getting back to the dormitory last Tuesday, I went and apply for sales and marketing positions.I also applied for a receptionist position. I actually got calls and text messages the next day. I don't understand how fast my application has been reviewed by the recruiting officers. But I am glad that they are considering my application. There is actually a company I was looking forward to hear from, or I wish to hear from. Luckily, they called me early in the morning last Wednesday. It was an events management company and they are operating in Asia. I want to be part of that company for sure. I wish it's not a scam. Well, I did not understand what the foreign man was saying but I am saying yes. I was half asleep since the call wake me up. I just called the number again later that day and confirm if the call was an interview request. He asked me to send my resume in his email address which I got wrongly, but thanks to Google. I was called for an interview on Monday, July 25th. Lucky! I wish to get it. I am a little worried because I applied for a Conference Sales Executive though I don't know much about marketing. I am actually willing to take any job if it's from the company, even being a management trainee will do.

I also got text messages and emails from John Clements, Frepi, Granton, PLDT, Coffe Bean and tea Leaf, Max's and Arthaland. I did not go to the Arthaland interview because I want to sleep and I do not know how to get there. I also ditched the Granton interview because of what I found out from the internet. I will be going to the Trueventus and Max's interview on Monday and Tuesday. By the way,I applied for Banquet Sales Coordinator for Max's. I think that I am taking a detour since I am looking for sales and marketing experience. I just believe that I need that experience if I want to be an event coordinator in a hotel. Well, I'll be heading towards where I want to be anyway. I'll get there for sure. :)

I haven't gotten back my lost sleep and I still feel groggy right now. :)