A Little Over Twenty

18.September.2011

It was already four months and seventeen days after I turned twenty, left my teenage years, and entered into the early stage of adulthood. To be honest, I had difficulties finding a good work...with a good pay, with a good pay. Eventually, maybe due to my desperation to gain experience, I accepted the job on the first interview that I passed. I got bored over my work and find another employer. I worked as a casual employee and as a full-time but not regular employee. I worked and earned money. I spent this money to have fun, to satisfy my cravings and to acquire things I want. I stressed myself over facts like how little is the salary one can earn here, how I don't get to work as a full-time employee and enjoy it's benefits, how I feel oppressed while rendering service to my employer, how I got troubled over working for two employers without anyone finding out, how I should resign from my employer, and such. The four months seem both short and long...nevertheless, it was an eventful time in my life.

After a day or so, I'll be leaving my country and going to another country with a good paying job. As of today, I am only a five-months-and-seventeen-days graduate from my university. It has not been half a year since I officially graduated, but I felt like it has been forever that I'm a bum. I was pressured by myself and my desire to earn money and to do something. Maybe, I feel uneasy from doing nothing and being a bum. It was all thanks to my program curriculum that I became like that. Well, the curriculum for my last year in college was very demanding that I need go to school or meet my classmates seven days a week. During those times, I am shouting and yearning for a break, however, when I was given a long break, it became the opposite. Humans really are rational; I am a human; therefore, I am rational. (That's a display of a simple logic. Cool, eh?)

Right now, my issue revolves around the things that I have to bring. I want to bring my entire wardrobe, or more like an entire room. BUT, I simply can't do that, so I am thinking very carefully of the clothes that will be easy to wear and to wash, and other stuff that I will be needing in my stay abroad. It'll be only for two years, but I hope that my contract will be extended. It's difficult to find a good paying job nowadays. This week has been very busy for me. I went back to our house in Cavite, since I am staying in the dorm in Manila due to work. I went to the agency for payment of fees. I went back to Manila to meet friends for dinner. My friends have a sleep-over at our house. I had another friend to check my laptop. I do these all at different days. Aren't I pretty hassled? But it's good to see friends and bond with them again after a long time. It actually feels nice. Though I don't get to meet a lot of them, just a certain few people. I wonder how it would feel meeting them after two years? That should feel nice.

Returning to the place full of memories? It's quite painful to return there alone. I might find myself laughing and smiling alone...looking weird and crazy. I'm worried as to how I will live my life there without the people who I used to be with. OH, well, I will find that out soon.