15 September 2011

Ending the Last Day

15.September.2011 It has been four days since my last day in my precious workplace. So how was my last day? It was quite confusing. Some of my colleagues learned of it on the very day itself. Some kept on asking me if it was true that it will be my last day on that day. But the most common question is, Why? Basically I don't know how to answer this question. I don't even know the answer myself. I just tell them that according to a certain someone, I didn't pass my evaluation or my training. Of course, I would name drop the name of that certain someone. They knew that certain someone anyway. To be honest, I don't really know the real reason behind my failure. Butt based on my senses and logic, that certain someone does not think of me as a good employee in that hotel, and maybe, a few more people share the similar opinion towards me. Their group certainly does not include the whole employee population of the hotel.

Does it bother me that much? Well, kind of. First of all, I don't know how to respond to their sympathy to me who has been removed from my position. I just smile towards them and go along with how they want the conversation to flow. Secondly,I'm not used to being shown sympathy. I used to be alone and to try comforting others. But, I'm not used to being comforted although I'm longing for that feeling. I could have forgotten that I am still part of other people's lives. I just don't want to expect from others, since it hurts so much when it didn't go the way I think it would go. I kind of pity myself for the fact that I don't know how to use other's sympathy.

The fact that I'm removed from my position is an evident that I'm not yet fit for the work of the Front desk agent. What I'm most worried about is that I'll be working on the same position in my next employer, which is in Singapore. I don't know if I would be able to finish my contract. I'm really worried about that. But oh well, life goes on and I'm not there yet. Come 20th September. I'm still preparing for you though..

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